YEH THI MUMBAI MERI JAAN II

 

So here’s the much awaited sequel, a lot of my friends had criticized my previous post saying that it was rather an irresponsible post, people can just talk ,its how you give solutions to a problem that matters… so here I am

First all let me start off with telling you about an average Mumbaikar- he’s young, he’s busy, he’s passionate about work, he loves the glamour around, he loves movies and he also loves his city very much, no matter how bad or good it is, the city probably holds the 3^rd place in his mind after his work and family. But he is fed up with the government officials for an unplanned cityscape. At one side he’s proud of saying that he hails from the dream city, city of opportunities, city that pays the highest income tax in the country while on the other side he faces power cuts ranging from 3-5 hours a day, filthy roads and imperfect planning of the city…. as a citizen of this city I would like to ask the government bodies…. You guys have to help the city as well and not just your pockets

Anyways enough of howling….

There are three major problems facing Mumbai

• Cleanliness
• Population
• Infrastructure

To solve all the three I have one single plan …. START A TELEVISION CHANNEL for MUMBAI.. It will be a government owned channel, they with the help of the film industry will have to make it popular but putting some masala, its what is required now. This television channel will only be about Mumbai and the people of Mumbai. Now how will this help. Media has greater influence on people than anything else; the television channel will have the following things

• Compare Mumbai to other world class cities- any Indian gets angry when he is compared to any another person, in school if you got less grades you parents always said look at rohan or kunal who has scored more why couldn’t you .that hurts a lot, compare our city to other cities in the world, emphasize on cleanliness, population, discipline …these are things we should learn from the west and not the skimpy clothes and beer bars

• This channel can work as a tool for the government to showcase the plans they have for the city, for example talking about the metro rail the government can dedicate a whole series describing, what the metro will be all about, how it will help people and I know Mumbai people are helpful, they will come forward to help the government as well. promote the program using hoardings at various important places, make it a KBC or Mahabharata in simple words the biggest attraction for the viewers

Cleanliness can be dealt with increasing the number of dustbins in the city, the police and the BMC will have to get strict here and charge a fine on the people littering the place, stations are the dirtiest, people lying there, spitting pan throwing tickets, hit them bad with the danda and ask for a fine of minimum Rs. 100. If we don’t get strict now, we would never

Also we can have movies where there can be many scenes which can condemn spitting on the road or throwing waste around. Say a shahrukh gets caught for spitting or a sachin tendulkar.

Population Mann! Here again the officials have to do the following

• Limit on immigration! Seriously think about it

• Limited children per couple, make it mandatory, or else, higher fees in school, more taxes, ration card with less quantities.

• Restriction on people residing in a sq.km of area, Chandigarh is a best example of this …well designed

We can start in Mumbai and will set an example for other parts of the country; we must make sure that the execution is as stringent as the plan

Infrastructure, well all I can say here is increase the shifts, we already have a lot of labor in the city, its time we got into double shifts, Japanese once said we build bridges in one month flat! I believe we can reach those heights as well, have awards for the best worker group, get back to the 1^st in school 2^nd in school systems; organizations like AGNI can help here ….and have planned new structures coming up … please we need our city to look a balanced see saw and not just a one sided one

Well I have tried to pen down all the points I could have, if any government official reading this, please take a queue ,there are a lot of youngsters around ready to help you at every path till its better for the city ……also if u have any suggestions always welcome!

 

 

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YEH THI MUMBAI MERI JAAN!

Yes I confess, Mumbai, yu are no longer beautiful, you are no longer as stunning as you used to be, I am sad today, now when I look at you,I see scars on your face, you seem tired, you seem tainted, the wrinkles have opened wide. What went wrong?

Its true, people all over the country think that Mumbai would be like a foreign city, there will be some magic in it, the tall sky scrappers, the deep blue sea… the clean large roads and all the facilities in the world. That’s the thing of the past, we are now the highest populated city in the world, 1.4 crore!! Whopping 1.4 crores. About a 60 % of the city lives in slums. Yeah we also have the largest slum in the world. We have the biggest gas chamber in Asia; we also have highest traffic jams in Asia. I believe have I busted most of your dreams? Yes I want to. Coz that’s the truth.

We are soon going to face power cuts, the property rates are soaring sky high, water problems as always make you crib everyday, trains are freaking crowded dare to stand on Dadar station at 7 pm in the evening its better than a nightmare, people travel by road say we have added 5 minutes every week to journey to office and 10 minutes traveling back home, hopelessly crowded.

The bandra worli sea link is half done and doesn’t seem to get the finishing touches before 2009. Chembur – santacruz link road which was to be completed in 2006, is not even half done, metro rail is said to be completed by 2009 but an average mumbaite thinks its going to take at least a couple of more years than the deadline.

So I sincerely request people from other parts of the country not to think of coming to Mumbai and settling down here and similar people who have just started staying here just F****** pack your bags and get back to your town. I don’t believe in god, but I do pray for a Tsunami to hit Mumbai or another 26^th July, may be in 2007

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MERE BATUVE KI LAST LOCAL…

 

After being a victim of one of the most popular tricks in Mumbai, PICK-POCKETING… I decided to dedicate my next article to the Rs. 2,600 I lost and to the MUMBAI LOCAL TRAINS ….its a heck of ride and it actually means a lot more to a Mumbaite than just a public transport service. Let us say it carries 6.1 million passenger form one place to another …mann!! That’s a lot of people …..any new immigrant to Mumbai will get terrified when he sees the rush, the desperation, the extreme anxiety to just get in a train.

It is the weirdest place in Mumbai and you may find most of the weird things happening here. 1^st thing you’ll notice in every train will be a gujju guy shouting aloud on his cell phone and asking on his phone “ jignesh bhai ITC ka bhaav kitna chhey, market bahut saaru karuu chhuu….”. on the other side you’ll hear people singing old hindi songs in their worst of voices and yeah their favorite “Pardesi pardesi jaana nahii and mera piya ghar aaya ….cheers to local trains these pathetic songs are still one of the most heard around. Well women discuss everything from sari to jewellery , about this guy and that guy and the giggle sounds echo all over the day

Just five months of travelling in these trains I realize that local trains symbolize life of every Mumbaite, well you must we wondering how … I relate to some of the instances that happen everyday at an average local train station and train in Mumbai …

STARTING with the 1^st ….Mumbai local trains symbolizes COMPETITION; well the sight of just the train coming at the station can bring goose bumps in the minds of the people. Like a hundred men trying to get the one and only girl that lives on earth, they jump, push, crumble, crush to get in a 2^nd class compartment, just like the life in Mumbai you need to fight for your existence and compete with everybody including yourself to lead a decent life.

Then I talk about DEJECTION; …. Dirty, Over flooded, stinking trains with people’s breath and bodies emitting obnoxious smell makes you feel dejected and feel really awful on what life am I leading right now. Now compare it to the problems mumbaite faces …. Less water, dirty neighborhood, immigrants’ increasing like Mumbai has the most precious diamond in the country and even loneliness the young mumbaite’s feel today

Third and the last is FRUSTRATION; imagine 15 people sitting in a Maruti 800, the conditions in local trains is even worse so obviously you tend to get a bit frustrated, start cursing the government, fighting with people in the trains… the same way Mumbai city is fast, ever challenging and you have to fight with destiny everyday, the increasing population, taxes, no proportionate infrastructure is making Mumbai people frustrating too

Though at the end of the day, I salute to every commuter of Mumbai local trains, you guys are real fighters, probably that’s why after all the great negatives it has, it is still the same train that takes to work and help us earn our livelihood, help meet some really interesting people on-board and it’s the LIFE LINE OF MUMBAI as we know and we are proud to say that MUMBAI IS THE BEST CITY in the world, an emotional Mumbaite says that

 

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